Don't let this face fool you:

It's the face of a ganster, a mobster, a bully.  I've already mentioned her stealing other babies' blankets and dangling toys out of reach, but her bad behavior culminated today when she...wait for it...sat on the other babies. As bossy and headstrong as Victoria is, she NEVER did anything like that. Poor, poor Trevor.

I've noticed a disturbing trend over the past month.  Sophie has chosen a role model to emulate, so now instead of 1 headstrong little girl, I have 2.  I've been telling myself that although she is now exhibiting Victoriaesque characteristics (stealing blankets, dangling toys out of reach, etc.), I probably had a few years before they formed a diabolical twosome capable of destroying the world.  That was until tonight when Victoria asked to sleep in the extra bed in Sophie's room.  For the past hour, the two of them have been giggling and playing.  The fact that Sophie cannot yet speak has not impaired their relationship one bit. It's simultaneously heartwarming and terrifying.

Tomorrow marks Sophie's 10 month.  She's crawling and pulling up like a champ, but I'm thrilled to announce that she's not any closer to walking than she was a month ago.  Time is flying enough as it is, and I need her to need me a little longer. 

Little Bo Peep, Her Lost Sheep, and Batman

It started yesterday when Sophie said her second word.  I've been practicing with her for months. "Ma-Ma," I would say, and she would smile, giggle, or try to move her mouth like mine.  This one, I thought, would be mine.  Trevor said "Papa", Vic said "Dada", so Sophie had to say "Mama," right?  So, Wesley is holding her, and all the sudden, she busts out with "Da Da."  Nooooooooo!!!  That can't be.  We've been practicing for months.  How could you?  Maybe I didn't hear her right.  Then she says it again...and again...and too many times to count.  Traitor.  I gave birth to you, pumped milk for over 8 excrutiating months for you.  How could you?

Then, last night was particularly awful.  I went to bed at 11:30, pulling my regular trick of leaving Wesley snoring on the couch, while I snuck into the bed and turned off the baby monitor.  This would force him to get up with the baby if she woke up, or so I thought.  At 2 am, he flings open the door to the bedroom and thrusts the baby in the bed.  Apparently she's awakened 3 times so far, which I find hard to believe, given that it's only been 2.5 hours since I went to bed.  Come to find out, she cried out twice, and really only woke up the 3rd time.  So, we shoved a bottle into her mouth and slept peacefully until 4 am.  You see, Sophie had already been asleep for about 10 hours at this point, because she crashed early after school yesterday, so she was up and ready to play.  I tried to coax her back to sleep with another bottle, but she talked, kicked, and punched for the next hour.  Then, as she doze off, Victoria came into the room, because she was scared.  She climbed into the bed, waking the baby, so now the 4 of us were awake.  We tossed and turned for the next hour or so, and at this point, my head was pounding.  It was throbbing so hard, I actually heard it thumping to a beat.  Turns out, it was the high school band, who, for some godforsaken reason, was practicing their marching routine at 6:30 in the morning.

We all finally got up at 7, and I was going to fix a breakfast of Halloween-shaped french toast.  One wanted cereal, and the other wanted chips, so I didn't even waste my time.  Then, Trevor said something curious.  "Tonight's your night, mommy." Not because I love Halloween, dressing up, or trick-or-treating.  No, it's because, "You love candy." So, I put on some clothes and went for a walk.  I am making a resolution not to raid the kids' Halloween stash, and I am starting a diet and exercise routine immediately. 

So, I'm functioning on about 4 hours of sleep, starting a diet, and I've given up soda, so I am one grumpy bitch today.  Good luck family.

Don't let the picture fool you.  This baby is a bully.  She steals blankets from the smaller babies in her class.  She seeks out the little, defenseless ones that are in the bouncy seats and snatches the blankets right off of them, wraps herself up in them, and sucks her thumb.  The scariest part is that Victoria never did anything like this at this age.  For the last 9 months, I've been fooled into thinking I gave birth to this sweet, innocent little lamb.  And, it turns out, she may be the evilest genius of them all.  My little Sophie Grace is Keyser Soze.

 I spent the week trying to be an awesome mom, making all sorts of Halloween goodies for dinner:

   Mummy Dogs

Ghost Pizza

Spider Sandwiches

Around Wednesday I ran out of ideas.  It turned out ok, though, because we found out that Trevor made all A's in 1st quarter, so we took him out to dinner to celebrate.  He chose Mexican, as usual, and apparently it was as much of a treat for Victoria as it was for Trevor.   I haven't seen grown single women in their 40s flirt as shamelessly as Victoria did.  She gets a lot of attention wherever she goes, because she commands it, but this was ridiculous.  She referred to one waiter as "her friend" and batted her eyelashes and flashed her pearly whites every time he passed the table.  I was embarrassed at her desperation, and I had to remember she was not a cougar on the prowl, but a 4-year-old completely unaware of her own actions...Or maybe she knew exactly what she was doing.  I really didn't expect to have to deal with this so soon.  I thought I had another 6 or 7 years, easy.  I'll certainly be on my toes.  And next time, I'll at least see if she can get us a free meal.   

Not surprisingly, my creative side really blossoms when it comes to food.  Here's Shepherd's Pie topped with ghost mashed potatoes. Cute, no?

Even though Sophie didn't get to participate in yesterday's festivities, she did get to partake in the birthday treats.

Today is my birthday.  31 years old, and I feel every minute of it.  I should know by now that my birthdays usually end up a craptacular shitstorm of disappointment, beginning with my 16th birthday in which Wesley broke up with me, and ending with last year's disastrous stay in Hicktown, USA (aka Helen, Georgia).  The past year has been transformational for me.  I've established new boundaries personally and professionally and reevaluated my priorities.  My children have always been my top priority, but I am now making an effort to always put them first in evey aspect of my life. This includes distancing myself from formerly close family and friends that require more emotional support than I am able to give at this point in my life.  It also means career suicide at a company that demands your commitment 24/7 and has no understanding of family values. 

This year, I decided to avoid the birthday disappointment by ignoring its arrival and planning an outing with the kids instead.  We decided to go to Carowinds to celebrate as well as bribe the kids into not making us take them to the state fair.  We had our fill of slack-jawed yokels at Helen last year.  Today started much like last year- Wesley and I arguing over silly things and rain pouring down, threatening to ruin our day.  We spent the first hour or so in between downpours.  The kids were good sports, for sure.

The good thing is the rain kept a lot of people away, so the kids were able to ride whatever they wanted as many times as they wanted.  It stopped around lunch time, and we dried out for the most part.  The crowds increased a little, but not enough to really impact out wait times for rides.  Victoria got to meet Dora, they posed with the Scooby gang, and Vic only had a few moments of Diva behavior.     

A good time was had by all, despite my bum knee, that is now the size of a cantaloupe.  It's not even 8:30, and I'm the only one awake in the house.  The amazing thing is for once I'm not bothered that there was no big celebration, no surprise party, no attention lavished on me.  I had a great day because they had a great day, and that's all that matters.  I guess you are a different person in your 30s than you are in your 20s, and it's a welcome change.  Although I can't help but feel like our day was missing a little something...