Relationships

Hi Everyone,

I am a newbie and am after some advice on my relationship.

I am a 40 year old woman and my partner is 28 (I know, quite a large age gap) and we have been together for 18 months.

Intially, when I started dating my partner, I saw it as harmfless fun. We both had just got out of serious relationships prior to getting together so we both were just having fun.

Anyway, 3 months into the relationship things began to get serious between us and we both fell in love.

However, I always had doubts in my mind whether the relationship would work due to the big age gap(although my partner is very mature for he's age) also for the fact that I had told him I do not want anymore children (I have a son from my previous relationship). My partner is fine about this as he says he's not ready to have children.

Anyway, cracks are beginning to show in the relationship. For the last 3 months we have been constantly arguing about petty little things and I find my partner can be very rude, insulting, hurtful and harsh.

We still love each other and we have a great sex life but I am finding it more and more difficult to put up with he's behaviour......the age gap is really becoming more and more aparent now (I don't mean in the physical sense, I mean in the psychological sense). It just seems that we are not on the same page - we have different opions & views on life and we just don't seem to have anything in common anymore.

Deep down, my partner is a good man and when the relationship is good - it's very good but I'm just worried that the 'honeymoon period' is over.

Afterall, he will eventually want kids, and I don't...plus now that I am 40, I would like to settle down but my partner is just happy the way things are. (we don't even live together - although this is due to financial problems).

I feel that I am not in a 'stable' relationship as we only see each other at weekends - although this suits my partner.

I just find myself thinking about the future for me and my son and would love to be in a stable relationship.


Should I end the relationship? Or should I just go with the flow until the relationship naturally runs it's course!

The thing is, I am still in love with my partner and he is with me...I just don't know what to do?

(Originally posted to www.loveforum.net)

 

A. Dear Cradle Robber:

First, that was a really long letter.  To be honest, I really just skimmed it to get the gist, and from what I gathered, you're a perv.  I'm sure you think you're a "cougar" or whatever the kids are calling it these day, but the bottom line is, your ovaries are shriveling up as I write this, and he is probably close to your son's age than yours.  Chances are, 12 years is too much to overcome at this stage in your lives.  But, if you really love each other, seek a professional relationship counselor instead of posting your private business to a bunch of strangers who probably have nothing insightful to tell you.  I mean, there's a reason they're also searching for answers on a relationship forum.  You're welcome.